Avoiding Viewpoint Slips When Writing a Scene
Effective Use of Third Person Limited Point of View
Oct 7, 2009
When writing in third person limited point of view, it's all too easy to accidentally slip out of viewpoint. Usually, this happens because writers momentarily lose focus on who the viewpoint character is supposed to be. They unthinkingly pass on some information that could not be known or seen by the person who is telling the story. Voila! A 'viewpoint slip' has occurred – and the story spell has been broken; the jarring note reminds the reader that they are part of the real world.
The Author's Decision on Viewpoint: Looking Out or Looking At?
The viewpoint character (that is, the character who is telling the story) in the following excerpt is called Anne. At the moment, Anne is not too happy with life. The following paragraph is written looking through her eyes:
Looking OUT: Anne's Point of View
Anger making her chest tight, Anne perched on the edge of a chair outside the Overlook cafe and stared out to sea. McPherson had no right to bawl her out in front of everyone like that. Now they'd all think she was some loser, unable to cope with the workload.
A cold gust of wind whipped her hair into her eyes. She shivered,and pulled her jacket closed.
She'd have to get back to work soon. If she took too long over lunch McPherson would have more reasons to hound her.
So far, so good. All of the above is true to Anne's thoughts and feelings. The reader is inside Anne's skin, looking out through her eyes, feeling the cold wind and the burn of righteous anger. (Well, Anne thinks it's righteous, anyway.)
Looking AT: The Same Scene Through McPherson's Point of View
McPherson watched while Anne White came into view and sat at a table outside the cafe. Perched on the very edge of her seat, she stared out to sea. Anger still showed in her pinched face and rigid posture. While he watched, the wind blew her straw-like blonde hair into her eyes. Instead of moving inside like any sensible person, she just pulled her cheap red vinyl jacket more tightly around herself. Stubborn, that was Anne. No doubt she'd be late back from lunch again.
This excerpt is true to McPherson's point of view – the reader understands where he's coming from. No matter which viewpoint we're in, we know that these two people don't like each other.
Regardless of which viewpoint character is chosen when using third person limited point of view, the reader can quite happily exist in either character's skin, immersed in the story world. However, if the writer slips out of viewpoint, the reader becomes uncomfortable.
The following example shows what happens if the reader (while in Anne's head) is told about (a) something that Anne can't see, or (b) something that she is unlikely to be thinking about at the time.
An Accidental Slip out of Anne's Viewpoint
Anne stared out to sea, her pinched face and rigid posture showing the world that she was still angry. McPherson had no right to bawl her out in front of everyone like that. Now they'd all think she was some kind of loser, unable to cope with the workload.
A cold gust of wind whipped her straw-like blonde hair into her eyes, and she pulled her cheap red vinyl jacket more firmly around herself. She'd have to get back to work soon. If she took too long over lunch McPherson would have more reasons to hound her.
How to Identify Viewpoint Slips
In the previous example, the viewpoint slips are shown in italics. This is why they disturb the reader:
1. Anne can't see her own 'pinched face and rigid shoulders'. This is presented to the reader as though someone else was looking at her and telling what he sees. (However, from inside her skin it would be possible feel the tightness in her shoulders – or in her chest, as shown in the first example.)
2. A gust of wind blew her 'straw-like blonde' hair into her eyes. Anne would be conscious of the wind blowing hair in her eyes, but she is not likely to be thinking about its colour or condition – not now, when she's so annoyed with her boss. (She might have been thinking about it if she had been planning a visit to the hairdresser.)
3. She pulled her cheap red vinyl jacket more firmly around herself. Same as the last point: she's cold, and that's what she'd be focused on, not the colour, composition or cheapness of her jacket – it's her boss making scathing observations about the jacket, not Anne.
Viewpoint is a powerful tool when used skilfully. If a writer using third person limited point of view stays firmly within the viewpoint character's head, being true to only what he or she sees, feels, hears and senses, then the reader will continue to turn pages undisturbed.
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