Breathing Life Into Fiction
Use the Five Senses to Bring a Story to Life
Description does not require lists of adjectives but can be as simple as a word or two slotted in at the right place. When writing a story, examine it carefully and see if it’s lacking in warmth or reality and then go through the senses one by one and see if it can be improved.
A scene in an Indian restaurant is a good example of how to use the senses to build a rounded picture.
Sight
This is probably the most used sense in fiction. In our example, we have a character walking down the street towards the restaurant. Which of these two descriptions draws a more positive response?
- The Golden Turban Restaurant was in front of her, a double-storey building painted brown and black.
- The Golden Turban Restaurant was in front of her, a slice of India framed by pillars coated in brick and ebony.
The second line creates more atmosphere.
Smell
There are very few places that don’t have some kind of odor, even if it is slight. Aromas and stenches alike, can draw the reader into the heart of a scene.
- She smelt curry as she pushed the door open.
- The aroma of herbs and curry spilled out the door as she entered.
The second example is more memorable although it says basically the same thing. Look for simple but different ways to state the obvious.
Hearing
Hearing can be an important part of any scene. Think voices, accents, tones, and background noise. What would the character be aware of in a given situation?
- A gong sounded as she waited to be shown to her table.
- The sound of a brass gong reverberated as she waited to be shown to her table.
The second sentence gives an indication of the intensity of the sound.
Touch
Touch is a powerful sense and used wisely, can add richness and depth to any scene. It can be neutral, negative or positive and can reveal the state of mind of a character.
- The cushion was soft as she sat down on the chair.
- The velvet cushion embraced her tired limbs as she sank onto the chair.
Touch is the language of love and hate and can be used to convey great depth of feeling.
Taste
Taste is not as easy to portray as the other senses but can still be a powerful medium of expression. Experiment with different ideas of how to explain taste.
- The curry was hot and spicy and burned as she swallowed.
- The curry was laden with spice and left a trail of fire as she swallowed.
Practice describing tastes – a fine wine, a bitter fruit, a sweet pumpkin pie. Let the story come to life as readers imagine in vivid detail what the character is experiencing.
It’s not necessary to involve all five senses all the time. Analyze a scene and see which ones are essential and work around those. For example, a scene in a perfumery would obviously involve smell. A mountain rescue scene in icy snow would focus on touch. A story of a deaf woman’s world would centre on sound.
It can be useful to write down inspired sentences and snippets and use these as a springboard for fresh ideas. The important thing is to keep working at it.
Practise Describing Objects using the Five Senses
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