How to Show a Character's Thoughts in Fiction
The Role of Deep Viewpoint, Tags and Italics
Oct 4, 2009
There are four main ways to share what characters are thinking. These are:
- tags (attributions)
- italics
- deep viewpoint, and
- conclusions drawn by other characters.
Using Tags To Show Thoughts
A tag is simply an attribution: it tells the reader who is doing the thinking. Some examples of common tags are :
- he thought
- Mary wondered
- she pondered
- Tim reflected
When a tag is used, the character's thoughts are not put in quotation marks. (Why? Because readers are accustomed to seeing spoken words inside quotation marks. If thoughts are shown in the same way, readers can become confused about what is speech and what is a thought.)
Good technique:
I wonder whether Jamie will turn up, he thought.
Poor technique:
"I wonder whether Jamie will turn up," he thought.
Using Italics to Show Thoughts
Italics are best reserved for "important" thoughts – gut reactions, sudden insights, or bleak realisations. This is because characters can, in some scenes, do a lot of thinking, and too much text in italics can be tiresome to read. In addition, if italics are used to show thoughts, then generally a tag like "he thought" is not needed as well. Instead, thoughts shown in italics can be linked to the character's actions to show who is doing the thinking. For example:
Use this:
Peter scanned the crowded hall, hoping to see a familiar face. I wonder whether Jamie will turn up?
Rather than this:
Peter scanned the crowded hall, hoping to see a familiar face. I wonder whether Jamie will turn up, he thought.
Using Deep Viewpoint to Show a Character's Thoughts
The best way to show what a character is thinking is to simply tap into the thoughts without quoting them directly. This is a seamless way of integrating thoughts into narrative, and feels natural to the reader. For example:
Peter scanned the crowded hall, hoping to see a familiar face. He wondered whether Jamie would turn up.
However, when the author is deep in a character's point of view, he can tap into the character's thoughts without using "he wondered" at all. This is because the reader understands that the whole scene is being experienced through that character's eyes and emotions. For example:
Peter scanned the crowded hall, hoping to see a familiar face. Would Jamie turn up?
In this example, the reader knows that she is looking at the world through Peter's eyes because of the phrase "…hoping to see a familiar face". Therefore, she understands that she is tapping into his thoughts in the sentence "Would Jamie show up?" No need for a tag. No need for italics. The seamless integration of the character's thoughts in this example works very well without these things.
This also makes "important" thoughts stand out when the author does use italics. The previous example given could continue like this:
After fifteen minutes of not recognising a soul, he contemplated giving the whole thing a miss. It wasn't really his scene anyway. Then his eye caught a glimpse of familiar red-gold hair.
He stared. Surely it couldn't be... he moved for a better view, and his blood ran cold. Jeannie. It's Jeannie.
Using Other Characters' Interpretation of Thoughts
Unless characters are clairvoyant, they can't know what someone is thinking – but they can make an educated guess. Continuing from the previous example:
As though she felt Peter staring at her, Jeannie suddenly turned and looked directly at him. Her expression hardened, and the look she threw at him was pure contempt. It was plain she thought the same as everybody else in his hometown: that he was as guilty as sin.
Writers who stick mainly to thoughts blended into the narrative through deep viewpoint will find that the scene flows smoothly. Just remember that tags and italics should both be used sparingly, and occasionally use interpretation of other characters' thoughts as part of the writer's toolkit.
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