The Secrets of Powerful Writing
Learn to Substitute Passive Verbs with Active Verbs.
© Joe Lam
Mar 23, 2008
The following rules of grammar and style will tremendously improve anyone's writing skill. Includes Passive and Active examples and explanations following each word.
- PASSIVE VERBS TO AVOID -
* Is
* Was, Were
* Had, Has
* Be, Been, Being
* No, not, and forms of no such as don’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t, can’t, weren't
The following examples illustrate how eliminating these passive verbs shortened or combined sentences, and conveyed a more immediate message to the reader, and always set up the sentence for an active verb.
Is
PASSIVE: Vicky is in a foul mood. She landed in prison.
ACTIVE: Vicky’s foul mood landed her in prison.
Was, were
PASSIVE: Joan played tennis when she was in her prime.
ACTIVE: Joan played tennis in her prime.
Had, Has
PASSIVE: Tom had great skill that surpassed his teammates.
ACTIVE: Tom’s skill surpassed his teammates.
Be, Been, Being
PASSIVE: He had been at the motel for hours.
ACTIVE: He stayed at the motel for hours. *Exception to the rule: Human being
No, Not, forms of no such as Don’t, Shouldn’t, Wouldn’t, Can’t, Weren't - Replace with these negative active verbs: Never, nothing, nowhere, nobody, cannot.
PASSIVE: He can't run the marathon. ACTIVE: He cannot run the marathon.
PASSIVE: No one expected her to jump. ACTIVE: Nobody expected her to jump.
PASSIVE: Greg didn’t want to live. ACTIVE: Greg wanted to die.
PASSIVE: Allison would not visit her mother. ACTIVE: Allison refused to visit her mother.
- MORE PASSIVE VERBS TO AVOID -
“Seems you got a lot guy.”- Remember this phrase and avoid using any of the words because they are all passive verbs.
Examples:
Seems - PASSIVE: The flag seemed to wave in the wind. ACTIVE: The flag waved in the wind. 'Seemed’ makes it unclear if the flag waved or remained still.
You - Unless the writer specifically knows the person they are writing to, he/she must avoid using this word because the ‘you’ only applies to the person the writer addressed it to. Example: You are the love of my life. The writing will alienate everyone who reads this because the author intended it only for his/her partner.
Got or Get - PASSIVE: Steve got a cup of coffee. Did Steve brew it, picked up, or purchase a cup of coffee? These three variations convey a completely different and more specific character action that engages the reader.
A lot - PASSIVE: Chris suffered a lot of bruises on his body. ACTIVE: Chris suffered three bruises on his body. A lot of bruises to the average person may mean three bruises while a lot to a prison inmate might mean ten bruises. Better to write a number to make clearer for readers.
Guy - PASSIVE: The guy strode through the park. ACTIVE: The teenager strode through the park. With this slang term, readers may mistake the term ‘guy’ for an adult, young adult, or teenager.
*Important Note: Disregard these rules when writing dialogue or referencing quotes.
