Using Dialogue to Hook The Reader
Techniques for the Aspiring Writer as shown by Peter S. Beagle
An extract from Beagle's 'El Regalo,' taken from Strahan's Best Science Fiction and Fantasy, as an examplar of fluid dialogue, designed to draw the reader into the story.
The article that follows highlights how to hook the reader into a story through entertaining dialogue.
New writers are regularly advised to ‘show, not tell.’ This means using the characters to lead the reader through their character’s actions and speech, drawing them into the story, rather than lecturing the reader, which pushes them away.
Consider:
Jane was bored. She missed her friends, but Mom had told her that she was not to talk to them. Jane wanted to, but her mother would be annoyed, so although it frustrated her, she did as she was told.
Contrast with;
Jane sighed. She picked up a magazine, then tossed it back onto the coffee table, and sighed again. She picked up her cellphone, dialed a number, but even as it rang, she cut the line. “Better not,” she muttered. “Mom’ll kill me.”
Readers crave the illusion of movement within a story, and Jane’s actions provide that illusion. Readers also want conflict. The resolution of conflict is the very definition of plot, and in this example, we see Jane in conflict, both with her mother, and with herself.
Good dialogue can be the most effective way of drawing a reader into a story.
Peter S. Beagle published his first novel, A Fine and Private Place, at the age of nineteen. His novel The Last Unicorn regularly polls with fans as one of the greatest fantasy novels of all time, while his short story ‘Come Lady Death’ was selected for the Fantasy Hall of Fame by his peers at the Science Fiction Writers of America (SFWA). He has just won both the Hugo Award from the fans at the World Science Fiction convention and the Nebula Award from the SFWA for his novelette ‘Two Hearts’.
His novelette ‘El Regalo’ appeared in his collection The Line Between, and has been reprinted in the Year’s Best Science Fiction and Fantasy, volume 1, edited by Jonathan Strahan. Consider this extract of Beagle’s wonderful dialogue, as used to draw the reader into the story, which appears almost effortless:
{She} looked over her shoulder and said lightly, “You are way too smart to be a father.”
Mr. Luke answered, “I’ve often thought so myself.” Then he added, “It’s a Korean thing. We’re all like that. You’re lucky your mother isn’t Korean, or you wouldn’t have a secret to your name.”
The whole 400-word passage – which is 75% dialogue, and 25% narrative – bats backwards and forwards like a table-tennis ball in mid-match. If an aspiring writer reads no other passage this year, it should be this one. Beagle is a master, and shows it.
